Blonde jokes

The Paint Job
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it bypainting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said….
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

 

Blonde joke - mosquito
The Lunchbox
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all working on the top of a big building. They decide to take a break and have lunch.
The redhead starts. She says, “You know, my husband makes me a turkey sandwich everyday. If there is a turkey sandwich in this lunchbox, I’m going to jump off this building and kill myself!” She opens it up, and, sure enough, there is a turkey sandwich inside. She jumps off the building and kills herself.
Then, the brunette goes. “You know, my husband makes me a chicken sandwich everyday. If there is a chicken sandwich in this lunchbox, I’m going to jump off this building and kill myself!” She opens it up, and, sure enough, there is a chicken sandwich inside. She jumps off the building and kills herself. Finally,
The blonde is left all alone. She says aloud to herself, “You know, my husband makes me a roast beef sandwich everyday. If there is a roast beef sandwich in this lunchbox, I’m going to jump off this building and kill myself!” She opens it up, and, sure enough, there is a roast beef sandwich inside. She jumps off the building and kills herself.
The husbands of these women gather at the funeral. The redhead’s husband says, “I don’t understand why she killed herself! I thought she loved turkey!” The brunette’s husband says, “I don’t understand why she killed herself! I thought she loved turkey!” Finally, the blonde’s husband says, “I don’t understand why she killed herself! She packs her own lunch!”
Blonde jokes - blonde thinking
Blonde at a Football Game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”